How Much Should I Spend on Rent, Groceries, Fun, etc.?
A practical guide for Aussie couples with young kids who want to stop guessing and start managing their money with clarity and confidence
If you’ve ever looked at your bank account and thought:
“Are we spending too much on food? Or is it the rent? Should we be saving more?”
You’re not alone.
This is one of the most common questions I get from couples in their 30s and 40s with young children.
You’re doing your best, juggling careers, childcare, bills, and the odd weekend splurge to stay sane. But still, there’s this nagging feeling:
“Are we doing this right?”
So today, let’s tackle the big question:
How much should you be spending on the major areas of life—rent or mortgage, groceries, bills, savings, fun, and everything in between?
We’re going to walk through this in plain English, with practical, implementable steps. No guilt. No judgement. Just a framework to help you get your money working for you, not the other way around.
Why This Question Matters More Than You Think
Most couples don’t have a money plan—they have a money reaction.
You earn money, life happens, and before you know it, your pay’s gone and you’re wondering how next month’s bills are going to fit in.
Without a spending framework, it’s easy to:
Overspend on areas that feel urgent (like groceries or rent)
Underspend on what matters long-term (like savings or financial security)
Feel tension as a couple because no one knows what “normal” is
Having clear spending guidelines gives you:
A shared sense of direction as a couple
Less financial anxiety
More control and confidence over your future
Let’s dive into how to build your own spending framework.
The 3 Core Spending Categories (And How Much to Allocate)
Here’s a proven framework we teach in Wealth Together, our flagship course for couples, called the 60/20/20 Plan—a practical starting target to divide your take-home pay. These are after-tax, after-super, real dollars (net income) hitting your bank account.
Everyone will have a different starting place and you can adjust this to align to your goals.
For example, if you entering the workforce and have a low rent, your Must Pay will be lower you may like to add more to Future Rewards to grow your money tree. Similarly, if you heading to retirement your mortgage may be paid and you would like to spend more on Rewards Now.
1. MUST PAY – target less than 60% of your net income
These are the costs that keep your life running:
Rent or mortgage
Utilities (gas, electricity, water)
Groceries
Car rego and fuel
Insurance
Childcare or school fees
Ideal target:
Aim to keep these expenses under 50% of your take-home income.
If you're spending more than this, you're likely to feel pressure in other areas.
For example: If your household brings home $8,000/month, your essentials should stay under $4,000/month.
2. REWARDS NOW – target 20% of your net income
This is your fun bucket—yes, you’re meant to enjoy your money:
Eating out
Streaming subscriptions
Clothes and hobbies
Family outings or date nights
Gifts
Giving to causes you care about (5–10%)
This category keeps you sane while raising young kids. But left unchecked, it can quietly balloon.
Tip: Lifestyle spending loves to hide inside “grocery” or “miscellaneous”. Track it for 30 days and you'll be surprised.
3. FUTURE REWARDS – Target 20% of your net income
This is where future-you gets looked after:
Emergency fund
Extra debt repayments
Savings
Investing (shares, ETFs, super top-ups)
Sinking funds (Christmas, school holidays, car repairs)
This is the money that builds financial protection, freedom, reduces stress, and creates options later in life. Most couples neglect this category until it's too late.
Let’s Break It Down:
What Does That Look Like in Real Numbers?
Let’s say you and your partner bring home $9,000/month after tax.
Here’s what a healthy breakdown might look like:
MUST PAY (60%) - $5,400
$2,400 Rent (minimum required)
$650 Debt repayments (minimum required)
$400 Utilities, phone & internet
$500 Transportation (petrol, public transport, etc)
$600 Groceries
$360 Health (insurance, checkups, medicine)
$400 Min debt repayments
REWARD NOW (20%) - $1,800
$300 Meals out, gifts,
$200 subscriptions, hobbies (Streaming service, education)
$500 travel and entertainment
$800 Family support, giving, or extra savings
FUTURE REWARDS (20%) - $1,800
$1,000 to additional debt repayments (eg car loan, personal loan),
$500 to emergency fund or savings,
$300 to investment
How to Calculate Your Own Personal Spending Targets
Follow these steps to build your own version of the framework.
Step 1: Know your take-home income
Add up your monthly income after tax and super. If you’re paid fortnightly, multiply by 26 and divide by 12 for an accurate monthly number.
Step 2: Look at your last 2–3 months of spending
Go through your bank transactions and group them under the 3 main buckets:
Must Pay - what are the minimums needed each month
Rewards Now - Lifestyle enjoyment
Future Rewards - Financial goals and financial protection
Don’t forget to include annual or quarterly costs—things like rego, insurance, and school fees. Divide them monthly for an accurate picture.
Step 3: Compare to the 60/20/20 benchmark
Where are you over? Where are you under? Most couples are surprised by their real lifestyle spending.
What If You Live in a High-Cost Area or Have High Rent?
Totally valid. Rent or mortgage costs have skyrocketed in many parts of Australia. If your rent is chewing up more than 30% of your income, you’re not alone.
But here’s the key: If one category is higher, something else has to give.
It might mean:
Delaying a new car or holidays
Trimming lifestyle spending
Renting in a cheaper suburb for a few years
Sharing costs creatively with other families
If your Must Pay hit 65% or even 70% of your income, focus on gradually reducing it over time—not overnight. The goal is to trend healthier, not to flip your life upside down tomorrow.
Couples' Common Money Traps (And How to Avoid Them)
1. “We’re just in survival mode right now”
This usually means lifestyle and essentials are crowding out savings. Start by automating even a small amount into savings every week. You’ll feel progress, and it builds momentum.
2. “We deserve a treat after the week we’ve had”
You absolutely do. But it’s easy to fall into the pattern of using spending to cope. Instead, build “fun” into your budget intentionally so it doesn’t become a guilt spiral.
3. “We don’t really track our spending”
If you don’t track it, it’s impossible to improve it. You don’t need spreadsheets—just clear categories and weekly check-ins. Use bank account buckets or an app like WeMoney or Pocketbook.
The Power of Weekly Money Dates
If you want to stay on track as a couple, build the habit of a 20-minute weekly money date. Here’s what you cover:
What’s coming in this week?
What’s going out?
Are we on track with our categories?
What do we need to adjust?
This small ritual creates shared ownership and reduces financial tension—especially important when you’re raising young kids and life is moving fast.
What If You're Behind or Feel Like It’s Too Late?
It’s never too late. Most couples don’t get serious about money until they hit a stress point—usually around kids, a big purchase, or a job change.
Start where you are. Don’t try to perfect everything at once. Just choose one category this week to focus on. One habit. One improvement.
Progress builds momentum.
Summary: Your Personal Spending Guidelines (Flexible, Not Fixed)
Use the 60/20/20 rule as your starting point, not your prison. Adjust it based on your season of life, your values, and your goals.
What matters most is that you:
Spend intentionally
Align your money with what matters
Track and review regularly
Make decisions as a team
You’re not just managing money—you’re shaping your family’s future.
Want a Step-by-Step Plan to Build Your Family Money System?
If you’re ready to stop second-guessing and finally create a money system that works for your life, your kids, and your future—join us inside Wealth Together.
In Wealth Together, you and your partner will learn:
Exactly how to structure your accounts for cashflow clarity
How to allocate spending across categories based on your goals
How to stop money fights and start financial teamwork
How to build long-term wealth, even on a family budget
It’s everything I wish we’d had when we were raising little ones and just trying to figure it all out.
→ Join now at davethemoneydad.com
Bonus: Try our Free Cashflow calculator?
Let me know, and I’ll send you our Dave The Money Dad worksheet to help you get started with your own personalised plan. It’s the perfect companion to this article and a great way to start your next weekly money date.
You’ve got this. Let’s build wealth, together.
